once there was a man, or there is still a man, or it doesn't really matter.. or maybe there will one day be a man, and there once was a man, or i guess a man who perpetually exists somewhere on this rock, living forever by passing through human vessels; when their bodies wear out, he shifts somehow to the next... no, no, no. once there was a man who existed for a single moment in time, but that moment was infinite, a singular moment of space, time, awareness, what-have-you.
this man was me, or you. or someone we know, or we don't know. but what's important is that he lived in a place we are all familiar with; wherever, whatever, that place may be. it had all the objects, distractions, thrills and disappointments of an american city in 2010, or a european city, or an asian one, or maybe in 1950. none of this is terribly important. i'd rather you just select your own setting; whatever template you consider to be normal.
one day this man was part of a subtle event. the instigator or the victim, it will never be clear. it could be physical injury, or a disease. it could be heartbreak or a reaction to medicine. it could have been the death of a loved one. this event struck him, and confused him, and shifted everything slightly to another sphere of perception. but any evidence that this event had occurred was invisible, or elusive, or so all encompassing that it worked itself into every mechanism of his living world, so he could not decipher what details had existed before the event, or what came after. this event was most like a traumatic dream, un-remembered upon waking. but it definitely, definitely, was not a dream.
this man had lost all perception of curvature, though he did not realize it. his world had become a lego world, and he, the lego man. all matter, once compromised of atoms, molecules, what-have-you... now consisted of only blocks of varying colors and sizes. all elements had condensed into one.
buildings of pure rectangles lined the streets, as cars motored by, lifting and falling, jaggedly, on square tires. it was as if god had reformatted the universe to be unencumbered by the burden of pi. all surface areas and volumes had become instantaneously easily and accurately measurable, and this fact afforded the lego man a small amount of pleasure.
however, smiling as we know it, was impossible.
Monday, December 6, 2010
from the very first second i saw the mouse, i knew the mouse had to be killed, which meant i wanted to kill the mouse in the way that we desire to fulfill our destiny, not that it was anything personal between and the rodent. what had to be done, had to be done, the mouse was no more innocent than i, we were merely two species randomly placed in an unfortunate situation, the outcome of which was predetermined. as time went by, and the vermin evaded the various traps i had placed, i became more comfortable with the idea of murdering the damn thing, instead of trapping it and releasing it in alien terrain (which would lead to a slow, frustrating death). i would invent a better mousetrap, i would use human intelligence, the most powerful tool in the animal kingdom, to give this creature a quick, painless death. but as i awoke this morning, and wandered into the kitchen for a drink of water, fate took the wheel. i was freed from the guilt of murder by pure happenstance. the little critter had scurried underneath my right heel at exactly the wrong moment, leaving a small, red pool on the hardwood floor, and a small, red dot on the bottom of my foot.