HBR AMERICA SPECIAL REPORT: If NL teams were guitars.

Hey everyone, here's part two, the NATIONAL LEAGUE!

NL EAST

Atlanta, Fender Telecaster: Basically, the South's team get country music's favorite solid-body guitar. The Braves are a classic team, sometimes embraced by the whole nation (NL East fans aside). Tele's are kinda similar; they've always kinda been there.

Washington, Fender Squire '51: Traditionally, expansion teams come prepackaged with kid friendly colors, a big goofy mascot, and a ton of crazy marketing gimmicks. The idea is that, hey, we can't compete right now anyway, and the adults probably aren't going to give up on the team they've been rooting for their whole lives, so let's go after the kids, grow with them, and in a decade, we'll have a generation of fans to support us when we're finally ready to compete. Most adults hate expansion teams for this very reason. The Nats are different (not really an expansion team, I know they came from Montreal, but still, they basically started from scratch), they branded themselves right off the bat (intentional pun) as a continuation of D.C.'s baseball heritage. That what the '51 reissue is, a new-old guitar.  

Miami, Fernandes Vertigo: They pushed these guitars pretty hard in the late 90's. It seems like the stopped manufacturing them in bright colors, which it's kinda a shame because I though they looked awesome (except for the headstock) and the price was decent. They might have blown their load a couple years too early with the marketing campaign. Anyhow, the pastel Vertigos scream "South Beach" louder than any other guitar I could think of.

NY Mets, Fender Squire Stratocaster: Oh the Mets. They are specifically the Strat from the Strat starter pack. They are the expansion team that kinda started that whole "get the kids hooked" thing. Mr. Met, the home run apple; shit the Yankees would never consider... Squire Strats were really cool for a heartbeat in the 80's (neat colors, oversized headstock, a little more attention to consistency on the part of Fender), as were the Mets (though the coke parties and booze binges quickly took their toll).

Philadelphia, BC Rich Warlock: You have to have, like, aggressively poor taste to play one of these guitars, or just be so deep into metal that you cannot clearly see the world around you. Playing one of these is just like being a Phillies fan. I get it, it's cool, you feed off the hatred. Just please try not to vomit on children.

HBR AMERICA SPECIAL REPORT: If AL teams were guitars.

Happy Independence Day everyone! I wanted to do something super American, so I'm doing a three-parter on baseball and guitars. Part one, published below, is a list of all the teams in the American League, and what guitars they'd be if they were guitars instead of baseball teams. Part two will be the National League, and part three will be what position famous guitarist would play if they were on a baseball team.

Here we go! (teams ordered by standing on 7/4/14)

AL EAST


Baltimore, Guild Starfire: A respectable guitar that produced a lot of hits, and has been in and out of style since the 60's.

Toronto, Gibson Firebird: John Gibbons is Canada's team's manager, so I figured they should be a Gibson. The Firebird would be the #1 guitar if it were made by most other companies. Over the course of the last 15 years, there's a couple of Jay's teams that could have finished first in most other divisions.

NY Yankees, Gibson Les Paul: Yup, I'm a Yankees hater AND a Gibson hater. It's the kinda guitar that rich dicks would have, and it's a team full of rich dicks. That being said, both are incredibly popular for a reason. I don't know if you can debate the fact that they have the most consistent quality of any guitar/team in history.

Boston, Fender Jazzmaster: A classic second tier/second rate guitar that became nauseatingly popular in the 00's. I'm a Sox fan and a Jazzmaster owner, but that first sentence wasn't at all difficult to write. I'm amazed at the price that people will pay to A. own a Jmaster, and B. go to a game at Fenway. In 1980, you literally couldn't give those things away. However, there is a certain coolness to Fenway, and the Jazzmaster's design that make both the guitar and the team deserving of a large chunk of their fandom.

Tampa Bay, Danelectro U2: I feel like the Rays rebranding (dropping the "Devil," changing the uniforms) is cosmically similar to Danelectros re-emergence in the market. Pastel colors and a cheap price tag, BUT surprisingly good (at times). Really, you could choose any Dano, but I picked the U2 because I feel it was the first reissue they really pushed.

The Black Black plays Cake Shop (twice), will release a new album (eventually), and loves Les Pauls

  I hope you're all enjoying the summer so far (all 5 days of it). I'm still recovering from a booze filled Northside weekend followed by a full week of band practice, recording, and gigs. We're slowing down with the booking thing (more on that later), and we're trying to focus more on covering some sweet local bands. Honestly, I felt a little bad about how mean I was to Gibson lovers in the article on guitars that I wrote two weeks ago, so I thought I'd do a quick Gchat with Jon Daily from The Black Black; a well known Gibson-a-phile.

Here's the transcript:

Hearts Bleed Radio: Start off by giving me a little history of The Black Black...

Jon: I started the black black in the fall of 2011. I was frustrated with my band at the time in every way possible, so I tried to create the antithesis band to it. I recorded three demos in my bedroom with my electronic drum kit. I sent the demos to my long time friend Chris and asked if he'd be interested in playing the bass (he was), and then Craigslist turned up our first drummer Johnny. It was super easy, and the band was just fun and easy for the first year with the three of us. We recorded twice, played a bunch of shows and it was just... fun.
  Johnny moved to CA, and then we spent a year looking for a new drummer. We had six guys do it in a year. It was pretty awful. Then Tomo came on board, and we finally got moving again... fast forward another year and we just finished recording our first LP. It'll be out on Money Fire Records in September (probably). The band was created as a cross between Big Black, McLusky, and LCD Soundsystem. I don't know if those influences are still obvious, but that was the initial idea.

L.E.S. Les Paul action at Pianos

HBR: You're playing a lot these days, you have a record coming out... But I want to talk about guitars for a second... I'm a Fender guy, you're a Gibson guy... I don't want you have to defend Gibson, but what do you like about Les Pauls? What do they do for your sound that no other axe will do?

If you could have any three guitars...

  You make art with a guitar in a way that is rather unique; it's not unlike the way you make art with a classic car, if such a thing were possible (in my book, it is). In and of themselves, guitars are art. Playing a song with a guitar is kinda like carving David with the Venus di Milo. Anyway, it's almost Northside weekend here in Brooklyn, I'm about to see a million bands, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't silently judging the guitar choices of each and every last one. Don't think I'm a snob though, I don't give two shits about how much an instrument costs. That being said, there's a legitimate reason to judge bands by their instruments.

  I'm a Fender guy, and every guitar I've ever owned has been a Fender or Fender-knockoff (except for my acoustic, but that was a gift). This is because as a teenager, I was obsessed with Sonic Youth. Gibsons, to me, stood for dick-head frat boy jock metal/grunge crap. Bands show their influences by the guitars they choose, almost as much as notes they play. I hate to divide the world into two camps based on gear, because it's more complicated than that... but if you can find me a decent band that includes a guy playing a Les Paul through a digital multi-effects processor into a Mesa Boogie full stack, I'll buy you a beer. Hell, I'll buy you a case.

I only had time to grab one pic for this article and this is it. Scrawny punk, Mustang, Hendrix hands. Deal.

  There are clubs/DIY spots in this city where the sound is so bad, it actually makes more sense to judge a band buy it's gear. At least you'll know where they came from.

  I asked a bunch of local guitarists what they're playing, and what their three dream guitars would be. I'll start it off:

Stephen from The Planes

  Current Guitar: White Fender Mustang, Japanese made from 1997. Bridge pickup switched out for a 90's stock American standard Strat pickup. Pickup switching rigged up like a Les Paul.

  Dream Guitars:
    #1. Jazzmaster with a stock neck pickup and a super high output humbucker in the bridge.
    #2. Squire Strat from the 80's with the giant headstock (surf green or sonic blue).
    #3. Mustang with Jmaster style tremolo; an actual Fender version of this.


Micah from The Teen Age

  Current Guitar: Sunburst and cherry red Mexican Telecasters.

  Dream Guitars:
      #1. Gretsch G5810  (note. that's the rectangular Bo Diddley guitar)
      #2. Music Man Albert Lee HH
      #3. Fender Pawn Shop Jaguarillo

Hearts Bleed Radio's Official Northside Showcase Previews!

  The 2014 Northside Festival is right around the corner. We're looking forward to four days of music, whiskey, food, and musicians being treated like they deserve to be treated all the time. The best thing about Northside is it's walkability; it never feels like you're more than a five minute walk from the next venue. If I'm not playing a show, I'll be bumming around North Brooklyn in an endless loop of whiskey, tacos, and rock 'n roll. That being said, most likely, I will be playing/hosting a show. This year, Hearts Bleed Radio is proud to bring you two and a half showcases. We'll cross paths with you at some point. It was meant to be.

The Teen Age, probably trying to find the entrance to Pet Rescue

SHOWCASE #1 

Friday, June 13th
Pet Rescue

The Teen Age are one of those bands that effortlessly brings a vibe that, I guess in my head I refer to as "beer drinker's energy." I wouldn't want to call them a "high energy" band, because I don't want you think they're punks or anything like that. They have good energy; it's the kind of energy that comes from beer calories. They are a fucking blast. They are kicking off our weekend.

My Teenage Stride is the long time project of the multi-talented singer/guitarist/producer/king of Facebook; Jed Smith. Jed is one of the best songwriters I know, and I know a lot of songwriters. MTS is a songwriting clinic in action. Enjoy their music, and learn something too. Funny story, I realized last year that I saw Jed's old band open for Superdrag at Pearl Street in Northampton, MA like, in '99 or '00. Brooklyn feels like a weird "LOST" island more and more every day.

The Planes get good gas milage and fit into the tiniest parking spaces, but still have enough horsepower to pass a semi on one of those scary ass dotted yellow line highways. They are kinda the HBR house band. You know them by now, right?

Shark? Yes, dammit, SHARK?! Is it a shark? We tried to book these guys a couple times in the past, but nothing ever materialized... until now. This band is too good to be contained in a small place like Pet Rescue. I don't know what exactly is going on in this video, but I promise you there will be no weird predator aliens at the show.

A Boy's Irrational Bedtime Fear: Let's Be Loveless Talk Recording and Nightmares

It feels like it's been forever since we've done a good old fashioned chat interview here on Hearts Bleed Radio. In my defense, I've been doing a shit ton of booking (May has 5 friggin' Fridays!). This week we have a showcase on Friday at Matchless and Saturday at Pet Rescue. You should probably come to both of them, because, whoever you are, I don't seen you enough and we need to hang out more. So... Friday's lineup is great. Opening up is me, Stephen Otto Perry, playing solo, like I never do. Second we have White Like Fire, all the way from Pittsburgh, PA (they are awesome!) and Shelter Dogs (Brian LaRue's other other band, which he fronts). Next is Let's Be Loveless, and closing out the night is The Black Black. I can't say enough about this lineup, it's diverse but it works. Anyway, we had some chat action with Abby and Eric from Let's Be Loveless. Here's the transcript:

Hearts Bleed Radio: You guys have been busy in the studio. You have a single and a B-side dropping this week and an EP on the way?

Eric: Well, we just mixed/mastered 2 songs out of about 7 tunes we've been painstakingly writing/recording. It's been a year process. We get a little obsessive when recording. We are hoping to drop one of them this week, and maybe another in May to keep people interested.

Abby: We are super excited to release these songs.

HBR: Which one is dropping this week?

Eric: Well, not sure. Which one do you think works. Stephen, You are like the 3rd person to hear them. Ha.

Abby: We'll get back to you on which single we're releasing, but it will either be "Hostages" or "A Boy's Irrational Bedtime Fear" or "Death to the Moon."

HBR: Do you enjoy recording?

Abby: Recording is actually my favorite part of the process. Liquor helps a lot when doing vocals.

HBR: Really? Haha, it's my least favorite.

Eric: Yeah, I'm a fan of writing/recording. It's when I feel like I'm actually creating something.

Abby: Yes, it's like giving birth.

Abby and Eric, I'm not even going to describe this picture, it's too perfect.

HBR: I think "A Boy's Irrational Bedtime Fear" is the first single.

Eric: I think so too. It's a rocker, and has awesome Smiths'y title.

Sunset Guns release "Not Clean" EP, to play HBR showcase

I love writing a title like the above... like I work for Brooklyn Vegan or something... like you're supposed to to know who the band is, like it's as clear as "Germany invades Poland, to annex Austria." But I never know who any of those fucking bands are.

Sunset Guns are sweet. We've interviewed them before. There was an injury to the drummer of Summer Saints, so SG's jumped on the bill, cause that's the kinda guys they are; they are true homies. We have three Sunset Guns plugs. Here goes nothing.

The EP, pictured with the Bearcat.

Not Clean

This EP (cassette tape/download) rocks. It's pure 'Guns. On paper, the tempo isn't that fast, but SG's put so much energy into everything, it gives a high velocity illusion. John Wooden said, "Be quick, but don't hurry." The 'Guns are the musical embodiment of that quote. "Eviction Notice" is my favorite track. "There's no next door anymore," gets looped in my stupid, broken brain. Wait, did I pay rent this month?




HBR Showcase at Matchless 4/4/14

Because of the song "Pride" by U2, I'll always know that MLK was shot on April 4th. I like U2 up until about 1998, and I'm not afraid to admit it. ANYHOW, we got Sunset Guns playing the unglamorous, but very necessary, 8:50-9:25 slot, between a solo opener with no friends*, and an out of town act. See what I mean about being true homies. Come support them. I think there will be free cassettes!

Square Zeros

Jon and Derek (SG's guitar playing singers) have a sweet ass podcast, the origins of which can be traced back to this very blog. What was a neat project that I totally thought they'd get bored of and give up on after 3 episodes, has blossomed into a pretty interesting collection of interviews. It's a musical show and tell; musicians bring in recordings of their earliest bands and basically explain what they were trying to do. So far, everything has been either good or funny. You know what they say, "A ghost will haunt you for a night, but your past will haunt you forever." (no one says that, but they really should) Like them on Facebook to keep up with new releases.

THAT DOES IT.

See you at the show tomorrow, and for Pete's sake, like HBR on Facebook. It makes my Mom think I'm famous.

*Daniel can take a joke. I think.